You are a different person now, stronger and more confident. I feel confused and tired from constantly crying. This is what I have known I need to do, or I feel like I will be stuck here, unhappy, forever. I had escaped a Prisoner of War camp, never to return. I filed for divorce in October 2011. I’m not naive to the fact that there are trying times in every relationship and that most husbands and wives want to strangle each other in … My husband helped me move, supported me, told me to take all the time I need and he will be here waiting for me, we need each other, do better as a team and we'll get through it. I also think you may be feeling a little remorseful for moving on. Your session is about to expire. I miss the intimacy and love but have no place for it right now. Mistake I made a huge mistake divorcing my ex. He makes me feel so demotavited and he never tells me I'm beautiful. It has been over a year now since my husband and I separated. Honey, you need to choose your friends more carefully in future. Six months since I left him for another man. I loved my husband but I went through a stage where I felt he had been neglecting me and was taking me for granted. You're allowed to work part-time/term time if it helps, you don't have to put your DCs with child-minders. UPDATE #3 I've added a more detailed update here. I have been unhappy in my marriage for over 3 years now, and have been trying to make it work, and just finally told my husband this week, that it is over. Now we have separate homes it has been so much better. I have oscillated between being adamant I want out and trying to reach out to my husband and offer an olive branch. Finally, I … whats more, my constant badgering has Megan McLemore's story about divorcing her husband but realizing the divorce was a mistake and re-marrying later on. I just miss him, the stability, being his priority and world but I felt lonely with him never being home, and begging for things to be done and he made me feel so demotivated. My "husband" and I have had an ongoing dispute about his older brother moving back in "our" home when he gets paroled again. Hi everyone, I am very new to this board but have no where else to turn at this point. I Left My Husband but It Was A Mistake: My Biggest Mistake Was Leaving My Husband. I hope so. So, you’re enjoying the flattery and the belated “Wow, I made a mistake.” That’s human. His brother is extreamly racist and hates me for the color of my … Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones. 22 People Who Regret Divorcing Their Spouse . When did you start thinking about your husband all the time, before or after you met your new partner. Your H might be blaming you, insulting you, doing everything it can to i am sure, And you regard a man like him as being your 'best friend'? It may not be as difficult as you may have previously thought if you know what to do. Friend refusing to be godfather because of his boyfriend. Do I just miss what is familiar? in reply to. It still hurts sometimes though, and it will take time to get over that for both of us I think. I knew it was a big risk when I left him that I would never find that again but having tried to date for the past two years I didn't realise the odds were stacked that much against me and finding another man I'd be happy with seems an impossible task right now. Never settle for second best (if it feels that way) alone is not great, making appointments when you can have a bath etc. Use that to find new hobbies, meet new people and look forward instead of back.Love and intimacy will happen when you least expect it I'm sure. Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. Dear Coleen I’ve been married to my husband for 14 years and we’ve been together for 20. Yes there will be a few sacrifices financially, but its worth it for my freedom.WRT meeting someone else, once you are happier in yourself you'll be in a better frame of mind to meet someone new. I have been with my husband for 8 years, married for 5 years and when I realised it wasn't working for me about a year ago, I officially moved out of our family home. Eighteen months ago, I screwed up in the worst way possible. He tried telling me we will get through it, move forward, don't look at the past etc but I haven't heard from him since. I went through a similar thing, worrying that my life would suddenly change and that I would have to move house, get a rubbish job to make ends meet etc.The reality is that I'm able to work part-time doing a job I really enjoy, with the financial help I get as a LP and H's contribution I should be able to stay in my home (he wants that stability for the DCs) and I have time with the DCs on his days to work extra hours or spend time on hobbies. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support. I feel horrible for him as he doesn't want to separate or divorce but he knows we had issues, and we weren't getting the issues resolved. And if it doesn't, would it really be better to be back where you were, feeling down-trodden and under-valued with someone you don't want to have sex with? Its is also hard when he is still fully involved in my families life and they adore him. DEAR ABBY: I am a woman in my 50s who has been the family “screw-up” since I was a teenager. I would like to try and move on with my new partner but there is always traits of his I wish my ex had and visa versa. And how much I loved him. You will find a job because you have to.It also came across that the pair of you were a bit insecure and therefore living in each other's shadow worked. I constantly felt lonely with him doing shift work, I was tired begging him to help around the house and to make time for us, the intimacy was 3 years long gone but he loves me, I am his world, we had each other, he worked himself to the bone to ensure we had what we needed and wanted, I could say jump and he would say 'how high'...I regret taking advantage of his kind heartedness and now realise he was probably depressed too. I know I'm better, stronger, happier without him, and a better mother, but still...I know so many women in crap marriages that stay in them for the security, respectability, children, etc...and I miss being able to share stuff at the end of the day like something funny one of the kids did...And having a financial safety net vs next to no savings and pressure put on me by the benefits office to get a job (just switched to jobseekers as my youngest is almost 6) and after being a SAHM for all my kids' life now will have to put them with childminders because I have to work. Just think what if I never have such a loving relationship again and maybe I should have done what many women do and just lived without the sex and put up with his crap for the sake of having a faithful companion and security and respectability (I tried to get him to do counselling but he wasn't interested, he hates counselling). someone I have known nearly a decade, who knows me like the back of his hand, who respected and loved me or do I want to have a future with a man I just met, that I click with and love every minute of my time with. Even though I was married, he was interested, but I let him know I was married and it couldn't be. My spirit shattered and the worst parts of my personality emerged. We were separated, nothing unusual there.And I did say earlier its not so much the safety net (although that is the downside of being a LP) its the friendship and the companionship I miss. One afternoon in 2008, I found myself in the passenger seat of my … I agree, you didn't come to that decision lightly, you'd had enough and he wasn't willing to try and help you change things.You miss the idea of him, but you can have that with someone else in the future. Dear Abby: I've always been a screw-up, and this mistake was my worst. If I can find a job after not working all these years!! As to whether you'll live out your life alone, who knows? But after a couple of weeks I knew I’d made a mistake and wasn’t with the right man. I am now with somebody who is right for me and I know that the feelings were just the doubt you feel when you haven't been with the right person yet.I didn't have kids with ex which is clearly a far easier scenario, but at the same time, you thought long and hard about this decision and from what you describe, it sounded like a fairly miserable set up despite efforts from you. A few months ago, I met a new man and we moved in together. He’s a lovely man but I’ve often wondered whether I … The first whisper reads, "I regret divorcing my husband ...there's always something to regret" In the heat of the moment, divorce can seem like the only option. It might have been the guilt of hurting my husband, or the guilt of having the affair in the first place. But he is now cold to me. Biggest Mistake of my Life. 22 People Who Regret Divorcing Their Spouse . I keep thinking did I make a huge mistake in leaving my (almost) ex. But there was a lot of crap as well. Please Judith Regan Updated Jul. In the end the negatives outweighed the positives and people don't change. Tired, if you're lucky you will feel like I do instead - this is the best thing for all of us, H is happy with his own space, the DCs spend a lot more time with him than they ever have before and don't have to live in an atmosphere of bickering and oppression, I get me-time, no-one judging and criticising, financial independence (well, some of it is his money, but he can't tell me how to spend it anymore!) We are still going through the divorce, hopefully ending it very soon. It's highly unikely but, if it comes to pass, you'll be infinitely better off alone than stuck in an unfulfilling relationship that does nothing to enhance your life and hinders your personal growth. If you met a lovely new bloke tomorrow you wouldn't look back (not that this is the answer).The poster who said it is the idea of him you miss, not the real person is so right. Jeanne Phillips . Today, she advises a woman who wonders if leaving her husband was the right decision? I think this is very common. Then I made the dreadful mistake of falling for a man I worked with: Damien. Maybe counseling would be a good idea for yourself, get those confusions out on the table so to speak. If your husband is “having a fit” that’s a red flag. Husband found out, I am not sure if he wants to leave me or not, but I am willing to do anything to fix it. 6 July 2018 But being a single mum is def not the easy option! Dear OP, you are asking your ex-husband to I ’m in my late 50’s and my soon to be ex-husband is 61. We all make huge mistakes but eventually, when the tears stop coming, we are compelled to find the value of the consequences. I am trying to, its just, like dequoisagitil said, we're going through the final stages of our divorce now and its an settling time full of what-ifs and lots of emotions to process (hence I'm grateful to be able to sound off on here).My gut feel is that if I begged him to come back he would.